There are two basic rules in parenting that help guide us to making the right choices.
If you’re not having fun parenting, then your child isn’t having fun being parented - which leads to unnecessary conflict. Some conflict is necessary, but it’s a lot less necessary than most people think. We’ll talk about discipline later. For now we want to focus on the second point. Connection.
There are dozens of different parenting ‘styles’ out here. They tell you what to do and how to do it. They create a list of rules that are hard to follow because your situation never really matches the one they present.
I want to show you how to figure out for yourself how to be the kind of parent that enjoys parenting, enjoys their children, and enjoys who they are through all of it.
There are 7 principles to remember. These principles will help guided you to making the choices that’re right for you and your family.
It’s unfair to expect a 10 yr old to behave the way you’d expect a 16 yr old to behave.
Our goal as parents over all is to help our children grow up to be whole, functioning, adults. But that isn’t actually what we should focus on until our children are about 16/17. Instead we focus on smaller goals before that. Goals more appropriate to the age. It’s unfair to expect a 10 yr old to behave the way you’d expect a 16 yr old to behave.
A toddler that’s allowed to run round at dinner doesn’t lead to a 10 yr old or adult that runs round at dinner. They’re so many steps in between that build on the skills so that the running toddler can become a child that sits calmly.
This is a small excerpt from a much larger topic. Feel free to ask questions and we can dig in. Your questions may lead to more posts or they may be answered in the comments.
Resources:
Cohen, L. J. (2002). Playful parenting. Ballantine Books.
The Bowen Center for the study of the family. The Bowen Center for the Study of the Family. (n.d.). Retrieved October 22, 2022, from https://www.thebowencenter.org/
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2014). The systems model of creativity: The collected works of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Springer Science + Business Media. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-017-9085-7
Addiction expert, speaker and best-selling author dr. Gabor Maté. Dr. Gabor Maté. (2021, August 18). Retrieved October 22, 2022, from https://drgabormate.com/
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